Last week's blog entry on "minus points" was compiled after opening a few bottles of wine & numerous "recap" conversations with girlfriend. The sort of conversation that starts off with "Well.... how did it go? Were there sparkles?" and your response is "You are never going to believe this......".
Literally EVERY plus/minus point from last week's blog was based on an actual & real situation. (Yes- someone invited me out to drinks and "perkoopsied" their pants.) After so many unbelievable & hilarious boy encounters Brooke had NO CHOICE but to compile a point system. How else is a girl supposed to weed through the sea of men? Thanks Brookie.
Fortunately most of the plus/minus points stories happened when I was young (4 years ago) and dated casually. Now that I'm mature and wise I only date "responsibly" so I'm really hoping things will start looking up for me. Right?
Enough about last week's blog. I know you are chomping at the bit to see what savories I have in store this week. To be honest- I'm going to recycle some of Brookie's other editorial treasures.
About the same time we compiled the plus/minus points we also conceptualized a few new Barbie doll ideas for Mattel. We sent our prototype Barbie's off to Mattel- but for whatever reason they felt their demographic wouldn't grasp onto these doll. (Those bitches.)
Out In Fremont Barbie:
This Barbie "Owns It" and comes out to play exclusively on Friday nights around 10. She is available with sexy jeans, a little cami, and a fabulous new accessory from Mapel. Her wardrobe would be considered "Casual Glam".
Accessories available include a glass of red wine in a large goblet, an ipod mini loaded with an array of "getting fabulous" songs, a few cute boys younger than her, and a jazzy silver sports car w/ 19" rims. She can peel off at any given time, don't bother following, you can't catch up as she speeds away in 4" heels to the next hot spot. Out In Fremont Barbie is often found making Crusty Face Barbies jealous and angry, especially because Crusty Face Barbie's sales are WAY down. Out in Fremont Barbie can be viewed (not purchased) at any Fremont Boutique. Ken can be found at Dick's getting burgers and fries w/ the other Kens.
Brooke gets full credit for the Fremont Barbie concept. The below Seattle & Bellevue Barbies are from some random mass forwarded email I got (the kind that threatens to kill your first born if you don't forward to 15 people in 5 minutes).
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with a Mercedes 4WD SUV, a Prada handbag and matching Nike Yoga ensemble. She has a masters degree and double-majored, but has the luxury of being a stay-at-home mom with Ken's generous salary. Comes with Percocet prescription and Botox. Starbucks mug and iPod cell phone device sold separately. Husband Ken is into fishing, golfing, baseball and is often "working late." Available at all Seattle-area Starbucks retailers.
This princess Barbie is only sold at Nordstrom. She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade handbags, your choice of a BMW convertible or Hummer H2 and a long-haired foreign lapdog named "Honey." Also available is her cookie-cutter development dream house. Available with or without tummy tuck, face lift, and breast augmentation. Workaholic, cheating husband, Ken, comes with a Porsche.